by Mikey Rox
The Holidays are an excellent distraction after an election cycle – makes ya wonder if it was planned like that, huh? – and this year is no exception. Instead of churning out endless political memes on social media (really, give it a rest), turn your attention to making memories and exchanging gifts, like these carefully curated selections that’ll lighten the mood, facilitate festiveness, and bring joy to those on your Nice List (because we not givin’ Naughty List-ers nothin’ this year).
Le Creuset Bread Oven
Honed your sourdough skills during Covid? Level ’em up in Le Creuset’s handsome enameled cast-iron bread oven, available in seven of the French manufacturer’s signature ombré hues, for stunning artisan loaves ideal for gifting or your own private gluttony. Make it a meal with Julia Turshen’s Fastest Chicken Noodle Soup recipe from the queer cook’s latest book, “What Goes with What.” $300, www.Food52.com; $26, Amazon.com
Imogene + Willie Tees/Accessories
Streetwear takes the sophisticated track via imogene + willie’s audacious selection of graphic tees and accessories, like its popular “bolt” in black and increasingly prescient “burn it all” tees, along with accessories that include the standout “bronco” trucker and “dead wrong” knit watch cap. For queers of a certain age (you know who you are), these style-forward mix-ins give edge without looking desperately trendy or – God forbid – completely out of touch (you know who you are, too). $38-$68, www.imogeneandwillie.com
Beekman 1802 Advent Calendar
There’s no place like home when you’ve got Beekman 1802’s luxurious storybook-inspired advent calendar to see you through the holidays, each door revealing one of 24 cult-fave face and beauty products, including 16 full-size bestsellers. Bring the somewhere-over-the-rainbow sentiment 360 with a few selections from the boys’ “Wicked”-branded lineup, like the Glamorous Gal Bodycare Gift Set or Make Your Own Magic 3-Pack Bar Soap Set, for all the good witches (and bad bitches) in your life. $179, www.Beekman1802.com
Cedar Ridge The QuintEssential
You’re gonna need a buffer that packs a punch – so none are thrown – this holiday season, and Cedar Ridge The QuintEssential is the American single-malt whiskey up to the task with its notes of caramel and vanilla combined with a persistent pepperiness that’s H-O-T-T-O-G-O. $60, www.CedarRidgeDistillery.com
La Boule Dinnerware Set
Home-based meals are anything but Avante Garde these days (and, no, Uber Eats doesn’t count), but Villeroy & Boch brings a splash of panache to the table with its multicolored, premium porcelain La Boule seven-piece dinnerware sets – in Miami and Memphis styles – which include two stackable regular bowls, two pasta bowls, two plates and one serving tray that form a single nesting round and an artistic conversation piece after the dishes are done.
$450, www.Villeroy-Boch.com
Pasturebird Chicken/“Hot Ones” Season 25 10-pack
Read the reviews for Pasturebird free-range chicken products (five stars across the board, including its holiday-ready party wings), and you’ll be an instant convert – especially after you light ’em up with Heatonist’s “Hot Ones” Season 25 10-pack, featuring flavors like Little Dick’s Ghost Pepper Pear, Pepper North’s Jerk & Scotch Bonnet, and Hot Ones’ own The Last Dab: Xperience, an apropos name for the Pepper X-based sauce with a Scoville Heat Unit rating of over 2.6 million. (For reference, a classic buffalo clocks in at a mere 1,800 SHU.) Santa might be S.O.L. on milk this year. $10-25, www.Pasturebird.com ; $120, Heatonist.com
Pepper Pong Game
Make room, table tennis – there’s a new player in the game. Pepper Pong – a 2023 Best New Game winner – is ping pong’s “go-anywhere, do-anything, challenge-anyone cousin… with a mean mullet and pickleball-infused DNA,” according to its website, and that translates to a whole lotta fun for the whole family… if you’re into that sorta thing. $70, www.PepperPong.com
The EnergyLounger
Need a timeout? You’ll get one with a kickback on the EnergyLounger wellness platform offering cutting-edge, full-body red and near-infrared light therapy sessions designed for relaxation and rejuvenation in the comfort of your own home. Benefits include reduced pain and stiffness, improved blood circulation, and cell regeneration for an experience that’ll take you away when Calgon ain’t cuttin’ it. $7,500-$9,998, www.EnergyLounger.com
DC Comics Style Guide/Batman DVD set
Pair a reissue of the 1982 DC Comics Style Guide – designed to assist licensees in delivering a consistent look for the brand’s celebrated Super Heroes – with the Batman 85th Anniversary 10-Film Collection, which includes fan-favorite animated classics like “The Killing Joke,” “The Long Halloween,” and “Soul of the Dragon,” among others, for a gift that’ll instantly elevate you to Super Friend. $95, www.StandardsManual.com ; $200, Amazon.com
FinaMill Grinder
Save your knuckles from skin-chewing microplanes and graters with a convenient automated replacement in the rechargeable FinaMill Grinder that allows kitchen whizzes to season with ease thanks to its one-handed click-grind-release technology. Max and Pro Plus pods pulverize everything from cardamom seeds to coffee beans sans blood, sweat or tears, in complementary culinary mill colors that include black, white, red and gray. $100, www.FinaMill.com
Tom of Finland Duffel
Henry Cavill is a prime candidate for the anatomical embodiment of a Tom of Finland illustration, and it’s hard not to fantasize about the oversized actor decked out in head-to-toe leather, especially after you cop Loqi’s Tom of Finland Day & Night Recycled Weekender, featuring all-over printed ToF artwork that looks suspiciously like the Super Man that lives rent free in our collective spank banks. $40, www.Loqi.com
Dwayne Chestnut Sunglasses
Did Vontélle sleep on the opp to name its Dwayne Chestnuts flip-up transitioning glasses the Dwayne Waynes, paying homage to the iconic spectacle-shades popularized by Kadeem Hardison on “A Different World”? Perhaps. But slap on a pair of these bad boys and you’ll bring all the early-’90s vibes (and maybe a few Whitleys or Ron Johnsons) to the yard. $189, www.Vontelle.com
Danish Creamery UCS
Danish Creamery – renowned for its fresh-churned European-style butter – keeps you and your sticks rizzed up and ready to spread this holiday season with its branded ugly Christmas sweater that includes a tiny additional sweater to dress up your serving dish, in a twofer that’s both salty and sweet. $80, www.UglyChristmasSweater.com
Andy Warhol x Absolut Vodka
Art imitates life imitating art in Absolut Vodka’s full-circle Andy Warhol collab featuring elements of the pop icon’s overlooked 1985 blue bottle painting, rediscovered in 2020. With colors extracted directly from the original work and made with multi-layer screen printing to create an authentic sensory experience to touch, the spirited 2024 collector’s item also includes a QR code that opens a portal into the world of Warhol and the story behind both brands’ historic and enduring connection, this limited-edition release now among them. $26, www.ReserveBar.com
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBTQ+ lifestyle expert whose work has appeared in more than 100 publications around the world. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.
